Funny election letters

Letters praising or denouncing the election of Barack Obama are popping up in newspapers across America.  Two of the epistles below were culled from this morning’s Fort Worth Star Telegram

Both are written by self-described evangelicals. 

One thinks Barack Obama is the Son of Perdition; the other fears somebody is spiking the communion juice around election time (I’ve got to hook up with this Dale Littlerood character; not many people can be funny and insightful at the same time).

Finally, I include a letter to Santa Claus from Friends of Justice founding member, Charles Kiker of Tulia, Texas.  Charles spent the majority of his working years as a Baptist preacher and professor of Old Testament.

Enjoy!

Evangelicals and politics

We evangelicals are not inherently stupid. We mainly get that way during election time. Push the scare button, give us a choice, and we’ll choose Barabbas, the people’s criminal, nine times out of 10. Nonetheless, even our political gullibility has its limits.

Evangelicals share in the national, indeed the global, post-GOP trauma – the unbearable fatigue, frazzled nerves and real losses inflicted by the Bush-McCain-Cheney-Palin-Rove party, with their penchant for perpetual war, pathological deceit, social irresponsibility and destructive economic policies.

Informed benevolence and faith is the hallmark of authentic Christianity, not belligerent invectives. Supporting mean-spirited, hawkish, unyielding ideologues who abuse their power and spew out misinformation is not the path my Sunday school teachers taught me.

Barack Obama may not prove to be the absolutely perfect, heaven-come-down package. But as it happens, I’ve already got a Messiah; I’m just hoping for a decent president. And thank God, I think we’ve just elected one.

– Dale Littlerood, Fort Worth

Consider consequences

Well America, you got what you think you wanted: Barack Obama. As soon as you calm down from your frenzy, think about what you really got and what you will be losing in short order.

When you lose your freedom of speech and cannot utter even the slightest disdain for another person regardless of its validity, remember it was your vote. When you lose your religious freedom because it conflicts with the values of other religions, remember it was your vote. When you lose your job because your employer cannot afford to pay you because of taxes, remember it was your vote. When terrorists send bombs into our cities with no fear of retribution, remember it was your vote. When your Christian radio and television programs are removed from the airways because they are “controversial” because they teach about Jesus, remember it was your vote.

There are so many more bad things to come that I’m betting you did not take into account before you voted. When they happen, you know who is to blame – not the Democrats, not the Republicans. The blame will be on you. It was your greed, selfishness, ignorance and vote.

– Beverly Linton, Hurst

Yes Santa, there really is a Virginia

Dear Santa Claus,

Yes, Santa Claus, there is a Virginia.

Oh yes, there’s also a North Carolina, Florida, Ohio, Indiana, Iowa, Colorado, New Mexico, and Nevada.

But Santa Claus, I want to thank you especially for Virginia.

I’m sure you’re old enough to remember this, Santa, because it was only about 100 years ago that Republican Theodore Roosevelt invited Booker T. Washington to the White House, and what a stink that caused. Old Teddy also integrated the White House dining room. But that didn’t last long. Good Southern Democrat Woodrow Wilson, from Virginia, resegregated it. Virginia, the cradle of the confederacy, the home of Robert E. Lee. Virginia, a state that had not voted Democratic in a presidential election since Landslide Lyndon lived up to his nickname in 1964, Virginia, the one state of the old deep South who could not even vote for fellow Southerner Jimmy Carter.

Now Virginia has voted for a Democrat for President once again, an African-American no less.

Yes, Santa Claus, there is a Virginia.

Thanks Santa.

Your friend,

Charles Kiker
Tulia, Texas

3 thoughts on “Funny election letters

  1. Oh thank you for these .. all of them. My heart soared when I read two and my head hurt when I read one – and yes, you can imagine which. I am thankful for my home state of Ohio .. and thankful I live in the heart of blue – the District of Columbia where, tho’ we have taxation without representation, we vote smartly!

  2. I don’t rememebr anything being said about losing freedom of speech , or jobs, or my insurance or my religious freedom, or losing radio and TV programs in any of the speeches given by Barack Obama and Joe Biden. Are we greedy, selfish, or ignorant to want and to vote for change from the 8 years of perpetual war, continual and unabashed deceit, not to mention rampant social irresponsibility and destructive economic policies???

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